Comfort zones are needed when building an already well attached friendship. Being able to open up, be yourself, and tell the truth is keen to a healthy relationship of any kind. Fights may break out in between the bonding, but that’s only normal in building the friendship. Though, sometimes fights are the breaking points that either make or break the bond.
“Can’t I get one day where you’re not constantly breathing down my fucking neck?” she yelled towards the blond male sitting on top of her assigned desk in her homeroom. Their surroundings were greyed out in a monochrome fashion, time slowed to a complete stop. Other students that attended her school were frozen, all the color drained from their bodies. Some were stuck in a writing position, others just about to sit or even stand from their seats. The only colored beings were her and the demon that sat smugly grinning on her grey desk. There were times where she wished she could go back in time and stop herself from making a deal with this pest of a Dream Demon, Bill Cipher. Though, she then remembers how they met. She had a tight rope attached to a hook on the ceiling right below the wobbliest wooden stool she could dig out from her kitchen. She stood in between the two, right above the chair and right below the noose. That’s when he came along.
Bill chuckled loudly enough for the students on the other side of the wall in the classroom next door to hear; you know, if they weren’t currently frozen in both time and space. He shook his head, that maniacal grin taking up half his pastel face. “Oh Doll, you know you love me! Come on, I was just visiting you,” he defended himself, smoothing out his yellow, pyramid patterned tailcoat out from underneath his rear end, dangling the tails over the edge of her desk.
She sighed, rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers, grinding her teeth together. She despised it when he’d appear literally out of nowhere and bug her relentlessly. He’d stop the time around them and bring her into a whole other dimension he dubbed the Mindscape; a place he can retreat himself and others to without disruption. It wasn’t different from the current world they resided in, just a more greyed and melancholy-like atmosphere.
“Bill, I’m really not in the mood for your shenanigans today, just please leave me alone for once,” she practically begged, scowling up at him with dropping eyelids. Her day hasn’t exactly been a walk through an empty park. She woke up from a nightmare Bill didn’t give her for once. Waking up soaked in her own tears and sweat, Bill was at least kind enough to assist her out of bed, make her a quick snack for breakfast and walk her to school. Unfortunately, she was late to her homeroom and her teacher reprimanded her in front of the entire class, embarrassing her and providing her with a detention. It had been days, possible week since she had taken her Fluoxetine pills; medication for depression her doctor had recommended for her to consume one pill a day. To top of the bad day cake, Bill had decided he was nice enough to her for today and popped in to pester her more.
“No can do, Dollface!” he propped his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in the palm of his hands. “What’s wrong with me wanting to see my favorite person in the whole world?” he asked in feigned dejection, pursing his lower lip in a pout, fluttering his eyelashes.
Not wanting anything to do with his games, she stood herself up, violently pushing her desk chair back in the process. Glaring up at Bill she clenched her fists together, squeezing her eyes shut. “Look. Just leave me the fuck alone for today, alright? I’m not in the mood for any of your bullshit and I’d rather get through the day before I fucking explode.” At the end of her small rant, she inhaled a deep breath, shakily exhaling as her eyes open, only to widen more.
Bill’s usual egotistical expression inflamed to a more enraged one. His once golden attire had changed to a fiery red color, the yellow tint that surround the one visible black slitted eye had the same color. The yellow triangle in the middle of his eyepatch was red as well. The only golden feature about him now was his flaxen hair that splayed out in the air. His grin had curled into an agitated frown, his eyebrows creasing into a scowl similar to the one she gave to him before standing.
He slowly stood up from his place at the desk, moving directly in front of her to intimidatingly tower over her smaller figure. She gulped nervously, as she slowly began to back away from the peeved off demon, only to have Bill follow her steps.
“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” his echoed and high-pitched voice had changed to a much deeper and nefarious tone. She’s never seen Bill so angry before and the knowledge of his violent tendencies worried her.
“Who in the actual fuck do you think you’re talking to!” his sentence structure and the tone of which he said it made it seem like more of an exclamation than a question. “I will not allow a measly human speak to me in such a demanding tone, do you hear me?”
Bill had backed her into a wall, pressing his hands firmly against the wall on either side of her to pin her in place. Too frightened to speak, she merely nodded her head, hoping he was doing this just to scare her, or that he’d snap out of it soon. He had never purposely hurt her before and she hoped that wouldn’t start now.
“You will answer my question using your voice!” he demanded, leaning in closer to her face, his burning breath hitting against her cheek. “Now, do I make myself clear?”
Trembling in both fear and anger, her eyes hesitantly opened to meet his gaze. She tried to shake herself out of her terrified state, returning the glare that he was giving her. “Excuse you?” she managed to mutter out, her voice low yet firm. “I’m not going to let you boss me around like this! I can talk to you any way I damn well-“
Her rebellion was cut short as a sharp pain shot through her entire face, a throbbing sensation digging into her cheek. Bill’s hand had pulled back and swung forward, the back of his knuckles quickly coming into contact with the side of her face. A red mark spread across her cheek where he had backhanded her. Her head flung to the side from the force, making her face completely away from Bill. Her eyes were wide in shock and utter betrayal. This is a side of Bill she’s never witnessed before. He’s never laid a violent hand towards her before, no matter how angry either of them got at each other. There would be times where she would come home upset and Bill would allow her to hit his chest as much as she wanted until she calmed down, considering her arms were skimpy she never made much damage.
Bringing her hand up to her face, she rubbed the throbbing area where the slap took place, barely processing what had just happened. “B-Bill…” she mumbled, her voice meek and hesitant, thinking anything she’ll say will gauge the same reaction as before.
Bill roughly grabbed her neck pushing her back against the wall he had cornered her in, her back violently hitting against the wall; a loud bang emitting throughout the monochrome building, not a soul to hear. She coughed out a cry as the wind was knocked out of her, fresh salty tears now streaming down her reddened cheek. “I could kill you where you stand,” he growled, his voice brought down to a low, somewhat demonic tone; slowed and fiendish. “In fact, I wish I hadn’t have approached you at your most vulnerable point. I should’ve let you slip that fragile little neck of your into that noose and kicked the chair out from under you myself!”
Her cobalt blue eyes looked as if they’d pop out of their sockets from how wide in utter disbelief. Had she heard him correctly? Was Bill Cipher, the only human –or demon- she found a reason in living for, really say he wished she had killed herself that fateful day the two had met? Choking back sobs, she looked him straight in the eyes, her own flooded with warm tears. Her eyes shown with betrayal at his spiteful actions and hurtful words, guilt for being the one who had caused him to go into such an angered state, and sorrow for contemplating making his wish come true.
Wish his hands still wrapped around her neck, Bill’s eyes suddenly widened, as if he just realized what was happening. The red coloring on him began to slowly fade back into his signature yellow shade as his grip on her began to loosen. “D-Doll…?” he murmured.
She started up at him, her breathing shaky and panicked, still rubbing the sore spot on her face. “Fine,” she spat out, sniffling the mucus clogging her nose. “Your wish will be fucking granted.”
Before Bill could say anymore, he was pushed back into a desk, falling onto the top like he was earlier. She shook her head, not bothering to wipe away the many tears that fell from her eyes as they drip onto the marble flooring. Without a word, she turned on her heels, heading straight for the doorway out of the classroom, kicking stray book bags form the other frozen students out of the aisle as she walked.
Bill shot up from his seat faster than a bullet being shot from a gun and out the door, following the crying girl out into the barren hallway. She didn’t make it past the middle section of the lockers before Bill tackled her in a hug from behind, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he leaned down to bury his face in the crook of her neck. She stumbled from his pounce before freezing, trembling from the physical contact he was giving her, worried thoughts of more violence running through her mind. She felt Bill shake his head, his golden locks ruffling against her scarlet red strands.
“No, I’m not doing that again, I’m never doing that again,” he spoke, having read her thoughts of fret. His voice was back to normal, no longer the evil and slowed tone, reverted back to the echoed and higher pitched one. His normal one. He slowly brought the two of them down onto the cold tiles beneath them, pulling the red head into his lap, cradling her and rocking her back and forth. “I-I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have fucking done that.” He sighed against her neck, making her jump from the sudden coldness of his breath. While still frantic about his previous actions against her, her breathing began to calm at the awareness of his color change, too blinded by her own tears to have noticed beforehand. Bill brought his hand up to gently caress the irritated skin he had previously hit, causing her to flinch from the touch in the process. He brushed his thumb over her cheek, trying to sooth the red mark he had left. The demonic side of him was scolding his sincere actions towards the human teenager. He was supposed to be this evil and cunning being! What was he doing comforting this measly creature? Yet, his benign side of him was praising his decision to have snapped out of his sudden angered state. He didn’t mean to explode on her so suddenly, not having much of a control on his major emotions such as anger or sadness; almost bipolar when it came to expressing his feelings towards a subject.
As the two sat there in melancholy silence, the once terrified teenager had begun to calm down as Bill delicately caressed the side of her face, tracing shapes on the front of her shirt; his grip never loosening. She was the first to speak, her voice cracking from the snot and tears that had built up in her throat, and stuttering out of nervousness. “Do- Do you still wish you had let me ki-kill myself?”
Bill cringed at her question, automatically shaking his head. “No. Never, not in a million God damn years. God, I can’t imagine you dead, Doll, not at all,” he took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I hit you, oh fuck I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want you dead, I’m sorry I hit-, oh fuck.”
She shifted in her seat on Bill’s lap, turning herself to where she was straddling the demon. She wrapped her arms around his upper torso, returning his protective hug and stuffing her face in the fabric of his coat. “I’m- I’m sorry I angered you,” she apologized in a small voice, staining the material of his clothing with the fresh tears running down the corners of her eyes.
His grip on her tightened as he pressed himself as close as physically possible to her. “No, don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong, you don’t ever do anything wrong. Oh God, please stop crying, fuck, this is not how this day should have went.” He rambled out more curse words as he rocked her back and forth like a guardian comforting their child. He ran his hand up and down her back, her shirt lifting up and down as he did so. He never wanted to let her go. He was too afraid she would up and leave him if he did. His attachment with her had grown too strong for it to break now. He allowed her to cry in his chest as he pressed his lips against her shoulder that was exposed form the thick strapped tank top she wore that warm, high eighty degrees afternoon; trailing kisses up and down her shoulder and neck, trying to calm her down the best he could. He felt like more of a monster than a demon at this point.
“Doll,” he broke the silence between them, unwillingly leaning back from the embrace to gaze into her tear-filled eyes. Moving both arms up, he cupped her face in the palm of his hands, his gaze trailing all over her features. Her cheeks were pale, an exception to the one he had earlier hit. Her lips her split and bleeding from how much she was biting them out of habit and nervousness. Her eyes looked dull, almost dead. He couldn’t stand to see her in such a disconsolate state. Without hesitation, he closed the gap in between them, his lips connecting like a puzzle piece with hers. He watched as her eyes widened, the tears seeming to have stopped, as if too shocked by the sudden compassionate action to continue. His spirit lit up as her eyes slowly began to lazily droop closed, her head moving to press her lips more into his, returning the gesture. Now with consent to the kiss he had started, the rhythmic movements his lips made against hers became more paced, somewhat feverish as he allowed his eyes to fall closed in suit with hers. Sparks flew like fireworks on a Four of July night. He pulled back from her mouth with a small smooching sound, not wanting to part from her chapped yet soft lips, but needing to talk to her more before anymore actions like that took place between the two. He needed to make sure she didn’t entirely hate him because of his outburst from earlier.
“Doll, I can’t say sorry enough for what I did in that room. I had no right to lay that sort of hand on you, no right at all,” he rubbed her cheeks with his gloved thumbs, brushing against her smooth skin, almost chuckling at the warmness of her flesh. “I didn’t mean what I said about wishing you dead, not at all, Doll. You know that, right?”
She brought her hands up to loosely wrap her fingers around his wrists, moving her fingertips against the fabric of his gloves. Her mind was racing at a million miles an hour, still fussing over the kiss he gave her just seconds ago. He’s never done such a thing to her before now. Their relationship as friends never hinted at anything more than that, and she never thought about it. She reached her hand up to take the floating top hat out of the air above of Bill’s head, placing it stationary on top of hers; something Bill allowed her to do on occasion she came home upset or if she forgot to take her anti-depression pills. A small gesture that cheered her up. She cracked a thin smile, nodding her head in response to his question.
“Bill, the only reason I’m here on this planet right now is because a certain Dream Demon is absolute shit as his job of being a demon,” she stiffened out a giggled.
Bill sighed in relief, internally thankful she wasn’t too upset at him. Removing his hands from her flushed face, he pulled her into a tight hug, gripping onto the back of her shirt protectively. “I am pretty shitty at what I do, huh? Fuck, I couldn’t even get our deal right. I was supposed to protect you, and what do I do? Become the thing you needed protection from most.” He bowed his head against her shoulder, sighing solemnly.
She shook her head, pressing her forehead against Bill’s shoulder, rubbing his back up and down. “We made that deal, what, half a year ago? You haven’t shown any sort of violence towards me until now. Sure, we play fight and you pull pranks on me a bunch, but that doesn’t change anything. Don’t think that just because you hit me that I’m gonna start hating you or being scared of you. Sure, it was kinda scary, but I’m alright now, right?
“I’d just appreciate it if you’d never do it again,” she chuckled nervously, leaning back to look Bill in the eyes. “The deal is still on, right? You protect me and I’m your vessel. Business as usual?”
Bill frowned. Business as usual? Where did she ever get that anecdote?
“Bill, why’d you wake me up so early? It’s Saturday, right? There’s no school,” she whined, swiping away at the hand shaking her shoulders. She dragged the blanket over her head, groaning as his shaking hadn’t ceased.
Bill chuckled, shaking his head and flinging the comforter off of her, only resulting in more whines and moans to leave her lips. “Come on Doll, I need your body for today! Pinetree will never expect me to attack at such an early hour of the day!”
Sitting herself up, she sighed, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles. “You do realize how horribly perverted that sounds, right? Can’t you just pester him in your demon, triangle form or something?”
Bill shook his head, running his hands through her hair, brushing the frizzed up locked with his fingers, gentle with the knots that formed during her sleep. “Sorry Doll, we had a deal, remember? Business as usual.” He stated, grinning down at her.
She looked down at her mattress, fingering at the wrinkles beneath her weight. “Yeah. Business. I’ll go get dressed.”
Bill hadn’t noticed how bothersome her expression was that early morning. She kept on a smile the rest of the day as she followed him through the Mindscape, watching as he annoyed Dipper to the extreme; stealing his stuff, pouring water over his head, nearly tripping him down the stairs. It made her happy that he was happy, even if it was just ‘business as usual’.
Without a second thought, Bill opened his mouth to speak. “I’m cutting off our deal.”
Her eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cutting off the deal? She shook her head. “What do you mean?”
“Our deal is off. You’re no longer my vessel and I’m no longer your protector,” he stated in a monotone voice, his expression growing serious.
Bowing her head to peer down at the buttons of his tailcoat, she merely nodded in understanding. “If that’s what you really want, I-“
“You didn’t let me finish,” Bill interrupted her, cupping her chin in his palm and bringing her face back up to look at him.
“Our deal is off. But I want to make another.” His hand gripped her shoulders, a small genuine smile plastered on his cheeks. “Instead of being my vessel, I need you to conduct a ritual for me. This ritual will allow me to become a physical vessel. It may seem as if I can do so much already just as I am, but there’s much I can’t do. I have limits I want broken. So, I need your assistance.
“Do this for me, and in return I’ll never leave your side. You’ll be pulled out of school, be granted immortality, and I’ll never allow another soul to harm you ever again.”
Taking in all that he said, her` breathing hitched in a gasp. Immortality? Taken out of school? “Wait, immortality? Like, I can’t die? And why school? I need an education you know. Would the ritual hurt? How would I even-“
Bill clasped a hand over her mouth than ran forty miles an hour with a laugh. “Jeez, you just love asking questions, don’t you? Okay, well, you won’t die by old age, but there are way you can and I’m not going over that with you now. As for school, I’ll be your homeschool teacher for a while. It’s not like any of this shit is gonna help you in the real world with me, Doll.
“And, as for the ritual…” he paused, furrowing his brows ad sighing. “…yes, it might hurt a bit. It requires a blood sacrifice from a being that has a strong bond or connection with the individual looking to become a vessel. Not too much blood, only a few couple of drops,” he hesitantly answered her question, hoping she was on board with the idea of the process.
She thought over the deal she was about to make with the Dream Demon whose lap she was currently sitting in. Fiddling with the front buttons of his coat she thought about her life before meeting Bill. Empty. Empty of excitement, fun, joy, and more importantly, empty of him. He had saved her life more times than one, she’d literally be dead without him and she was forever grateful for that. It felt uncanny to trust a Dream Demon with her life, yet she did.
“What do you say, kiddo?” He raised his hand and if the blue flame hadn’t have emitted from his gloved fingers, she would assume he was about to hit her again; noticeably flinching. Bill took notice, frowning once more. “Hey, I’m never going to do that to you ever again, I told you. I’ll learn to control my anger to where you won’t be in danger by my idiotic actions any longer.” Noticing her calm down, his smile returned. “So, is it a deal?”
Gazing down at her own hand she flexed her fingers, outstretching them as if observing the skin. It had been so long since they made their first deal, it felt like centuries though it had only been so many months ago. She remembered the tingly feeling the blue flame had caused to shoot through her arm and all over her body before she awoke in her room with his symbol branded on the palm of her right hand. In case he wasn’t around, she used it as a sort of summoning method; holding her hand up to her eye causing him to appear at will. She rarely used it considering he shadowed her constantly. She almost forgot about it completely.
Without a moment’s notice, her lips curled into a wide, joyful smile, sending waves of satisfaction through Bill’s mind. “Bill Cipher,” she intertwined her fingers with his gloved hand, allowing that familiar blue fire to surround her hand. “We have a deal.”
His signature widened grin had returned at her words, grasping her hand tightly, as if afraid to let her go. The sapphire flame shot down her arm, clouding her entire body, lifting her off of Bill’s lap and into the greyed air. Bill followed, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as they floated unmoving in the air.
“When you wake up, you’ll wake up a whole new you, Doll,” he covered her eyes with his hand, leaning down to where the tips of their noses were touching. “No more harmful, physical violence with us. A new deal, a new start.”
With a smile, she nodded, shutting her eyes underneath his palm. “New deal, new start,” she repeated happily. “Yeah, you’re a really shitty demon,” she giggled.
Rolling his eyes, he leaned down to press his lips gently against hers for a few seconds before pulling away; both faces flushed a subtle scarlet. “I’m blaming you for that,” he chuckled. “Just sleep for now, Doll. You’ll wake up feeling wonderfully refreshed!”
A sudden wave of drowsiness crashed through her body. She allowed herself to slump against Bill’s front, her head dangling on his shoulder with her arms loosely wrapped around his neck. Her breath hitting his neck began to slow into leisurely gasps of air. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, her nose tickling his skin and making him giggle from the contact.
“Sweet dreams, Doll,” he cooed in a whisper. “Another deal, another chance kid. Let’s make it count.”
Holding her close to his body, he closed his eyes, breathing in her calming scent of lavender and peppermint; a strange combination for an aroma, but it was unique in its own way and he loved it. He pressed a tender kiss against her shoulder before snapping his fingers, disappearing from the monochrome building with the sleeping teenager in his arms; allowing the schools color to return and time to continue. The fight the two had shared was the make or break of their entire future with each other.
Luckily they were able to make it.